A Whole Lot Of Nothing

No, I haven’t dropped off the planet — at least not yet, thought I can’t say the thought isn’t tempting. The last year, or even year and a half, has been … strange. To go into detail would be boring and self-indulgent, so I won’t.

My fiction writing, though, has suffered; to that much I confess. Although I still write every day, I’m not writing what I truly love to write.

I got about halfway through NaNo last year and, between life’s interruptions and escalating computer problems, I just lost my momentum. I still had the hodgepodge of scenes, about 60,000 words worth, in Scrivener from the year before. That one, I’d tried writing piecemeal just to get words on the page, and wrote scenes out of order all over the place. They are still out of order all over the place. I’ve tried arranging them a few times, but keep getting sidelined.

Last year, I thought starting an entirely new project, a story that was trying to get out, would get me going again. Well, it did get me going. It just didn’t keep me going.

Sometime between the two, I gave in to Microsoft’s nag to update my Windows 8.1 laptop to 10. A perfectly good, efficient computer turned into a mass of problems after the update failed. Things got worse until, a year later, the poor thing was unusable. I wound up doing  a factory reset of Windows, which worked for a while, and then it began having different problems that led to a hardware failure.

Cutting the story short, I now quite like my new-to-me Mac Mini. It’s taken me a while to get life reinstalled, though I must say the process has actually been quite smooth. I’ve got the Mac version of Scrivener up and running, and have, in the last week or so, skimmed through both the 2015 NaNo draft, and the 2016 start. There is a tiny spark of enthusiasm growing (now that I’m not continually battling lock-ups and shut-downs). That spark led me back here, to the blog I’d nearly forgotten about.

I’m very grateful to the dear friend who generously sent me the computer he was planning (before learning of my plight) to retire to a closet. I might put that 60,000-piece puzzle-trying-to-be-a-novel together in the right order yet.

NaNo 2017, though? Maybe not.

One challenge at a time.

And then there were none….

Well, not precisely “none”. They’re all still there, those 35,000-plus words in the latest writing project. However, as I was cranking them out, letting them lead me, I got wrapped up in the story and the characters. Then, as happens all too often, I got sidelined for a very long time. Nearly a year, in fact. Although I have picked through it quite a few times in between, most of my actual writing time has been spent revising another project (written under another name) and working on shorter pieces.

This week, my daughter and I attended the first installment of a three-part mystery writers workshop at our local library. Despite the fact that (due to the above sidelines, in large part) the last thing I want right now is to be around people I don’t know, I actually had a great time. Our presenter (Frankie Y. Bailey) was bright, witty, a great teacher, and really knows her subject.  She presented the intro in an entertaining and informative way. While I learned nothing new (technically), I did get a chance to look at the old from a fresh viewpoint, and it was inspiring.

It was, in fact, inspiring enough to encourage me to pull out The Manuscript and read through what I have so far.

What I have, is a mess. Frankie was talking a lot about characters, and with her words in mind, one of my own really stood out as I read through the hodgepodge of words that sit in Scrivener, begging me to untangle them and continue. He stood out because he doesn’t work.

At all.

He doesn’t fit the tone of the story. He doesn’t fit the goal I have in mind. He doesn’t fit the mood or the other characters. Naturally, I wound up getting sidetracked by this almost comic-book pseudo-being, and realize as I re-read that I have somehow managed to turn him into a key player and weave the entire blasted plot around his little devious fingers.

My choices now? Go back to page one and rewrite him, completely, starting from scratch as I try to repair a bunch of tangled ends and get the story back on track. Or ditch the whole darned thing and start from “Once upon a time”.

(Don’t worry, it doesn’t really start “Once upon a time”.)

Maybe I’ll re-title the working draft, start fresh with NaNoWriMo this year, and just try again from as close to square one as necessary to fix this little dilemma. (NaNo worked out so well last year, after all, did it not? Sigh.)

It’s hard right now to be enthused about diving into such a massive undertaking.  The workshop, though, was inspiring, and I look forward to the other two segments. Maybe I’ll wait till after next week’s workshop, which will continue on the subject of characters, and see if it gives me any brilliant ideas.

Edit and Addendum: We’re going with the final thought. The draft has been re-titled, I’m starting with not much more than the outline, and I will try to keep my demons (that was literal) under a tighter rein this year. Wish me luck!

I’m Not Dead Yet

Well, that went well. Not.

If you peek in at my last post, all the way back in November of last year, I was still doing my best to plug away at NaNoWriMo. There was also mention of a strange “bug bite” and infection. It turned out that the bite wasn’t a bite and the infection wasn’t an infection. An old auto-immune disorder had resurfaced and took me down hard not long after I last blogged. Still, I kept fighting my way through the daily writing, made it to about 30,000 words, and just … lost it.

This thing with my immune system really gets to me. People will say I’m such a strong person, but they really don’t know the way this cripples me inside. I shut down, went to bed, lost most of my income, and set aside the book.

I’m back here now, because I am doing better, and my intentions are to open up that blasted file again in Scrivener, read through everything I’d written back in November, and finally finish that draft.  I’m just under half-way done with the story itself, with a great big sign hanging over the file that says, “Some Assembly Required”.

Normally, I write linearly. I embrace the words of a very wise man:

“Begin at the beginning,” the King said, very gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

In the case of this book, though (maybe it was the fever and illness), ideas were coming in disjointedly. I would receive (it seemed, from nowhere) a chunk here and a bit there. What I have in Scrivener consists of a mess of disconnected segments from beginning, middle and end. I know how the story ends, it’s all drafted out, but am only loosely aware of how I’m going to get from here to there.

I have been writing in the interim. The output has been mostly non-fiction; I’ve been writing informational articles centered around my other self, my other life. I just haven’t been writing what I really want to write. What I want is what I love: paranormal mystery.

I’m back. Or, at the very least I am bound and determined to return. I didn’t win at NaNo ’14, but I haven’t lost, either. There is a darned good story in there, somewhere. It’s time to open the gates again, and let the words run free.